An In-Depth Guide to Positive Behaviour Management in Early Years

Ever felt like each day in the early years setting is a bit of a big show — full of surprises, big emotions, and tiny humans trying their best? You’re not alone. Every child communicates through what they do, which is why behaviour management in early years is so important. A tantrum, grabbing a toy, or running off isn’t “naughty”—it’s their way of telling us something. For example, little ones are full of energy and big feelings, and as adults, we need to notice what they are trying to say.

So, this guide shares easy tips for positive strategies, calm routines, and support for children with special educational needs (SEN). It also shows simple ways to work with parents, helping you make early years settings calmer, happier, and more enjoyable for everyone.

What Is Behaviour Management in Early Years?

Let’s be very clear about what this term actually means to us. In the early years, behaviour management is not about bossing children around strongly. Rather, it’s truly about connection and patient guidance. Ultimately, we are helping children build their inner “stop and think” button correctly. This vital button helps them control their first reactions.

We can think of it as teaching crucial social rules and self-control skills. This learning happens through calm, consistent responses from caring adults. Crucially, we never use shame or quick punishment to teach these lessons; this modern approach is called positive guidance. It focuses on learning, not punishment.

• We Are Teachers: We treat a sudden meltdown like a new skill they haven’t mastered yet. Thus, they need coaching and help, not immediate telling off or scolding. We wouldn’t scold a child for not knowing how to read. Similarly, we shouldn’t scold them for not knowing how to manage their anger.
• Consistency is Key: If the simple rule is “kind hands”, then it must be “kind hands” always. Indeed, this steady approach builds clear, safe boundaries for everyone in the setting. It helps them predict their world.
• Match the Age: For example, we cannot expect a two-year-old to use complex language skills yet. Instead, we teach them to squeeze a soft toy when frustrated and angry. Our patient actions must fit their little age and understanding level perfectly.

This positive and gentle approach is the core of effective behaviour management training. It makes the learning environment feel secure and warm for them to thrive in.

Why Positive Behaviour Management Matters for Young Children

Why should we focus so much on positive ways to handle challenging behaviour? Well, it’s because it builds the single most important thing: a child’s fundamental feeling of being safe. This feeling of security is everything.

When a child feels safe and understood by you:

• Trust Grows Strong: They learn to trust you to be their calm support when their feelings get loud. Clearly, this positive relationship is your greatest tool for guidance and help.
• Worry Disappears: They know what will happen next and how you will react clearly and fairly. In short, this predictability lowers their anxiety quite a lot. Less worry means less emotional chaos. This leads to far less challenging behaviour over time.
• They Can Learn: A child’s brain opens up for learning when it is not stressed or worried. Hence, they are ready to absorb social rules and new ideas easily and quickly. Learning only happens when they are calm.

This long-term strategy is the key lesson from any high-quality challenging behaviour course. Furthermore, it shows that proactive positive guidance stops many problems before they ever start.

To dive deeper into how effective behaviour management transforms both teaching and learning environments, explore our detailed guide: The Benefits of Pursuing Excellent Behaviour Management in Education.

Common Behaviour Challenges in Early Years Settings

It is helpful to see these moments as communication, not a child trying to be naughty on purpose. Remember that they are just learning new things every day. We must become great behaviour detectives.

• Biting or Hitting: This is often a sudden burst of overwhelming feelings. Consequently, they lack the proper words to shout, “I’m so frustrated with this!” This impulse control failure is very common in toddlers.
• Grabbing Toys: This is a simple failure of their developing self-control. Specifically, if they see it, they strongly feel like they should have it immediately. They do not yet understand the idea of waiting patiently for their turn.
• Running Off: This might be a clear test of your rules or a strong need for physical movement. Or, it could also be a sudden plea for your urgent attention.
• Big Meltdowns (Tantrums): This is when their body and brain get totally overloaded. That is to say, they are too tired, too hungry, or the noise is just too much to handle. It means their emotional battery is completely empty now, and they have lost control.

Seeing these actions as normal child development is the key starting point. These moments are learning opportunities for all of us!

Understanding the ‘Why’: The Root Causes of Challenging Behaviour

To successfully apply positive guidance, you must first figure out why the behaviour is happening in the first place. Behaviour is never random. It serves a purpose.

Exploring Behaviour with the A-B-C Model

A helpful way to understand children’s behaviour is the A-B-C model. It breaks behaviour into three simple steps.

• A – Antecedent: This is what happens just before the behaviour. For example, an adult might say, “Time to tidy up,” or a child sees another child with a favourite toy. Therefore, seeing what happens first helps you know what may have caused the behaviour.
• B – Behaviour: This is what the child does. They might scream, throw a toy, or run away. It’s important to look at the behaviour, not label the child as “naughty”.
• C – Consequence: This is what happens right after the behaviour. For example, the child is sent to a quiet corner, or an adult gives them attention. Knowing the result helps you decide how to respond positively.

Using the A-B-C model helps you notice patterns. When you understand why a child acts a certain way, you can guide them calmly and prevent problems from getting bigger. This simple method is often taught in challenging behaviour courses and child behaviour courses.

Four Common Functions of Behaviour

Most challenging behaviour falls into one of these four categories:

1. To Gain Attention: The child is trying to get a reaction from an adult or a peer. This attention, even if it’s a negative telling-off, is better than none.

2. To Gain Tangibles: The child wants an object, a toy, or access to a favourite activity.

3. To Escape/Avoid: The child wants to get out of doing something they dislike (e.g., tidy up, sit still, eat a vegetable).

4. Sensory Needs: Sometimes a child wants certain feelings or wants to avoid them. They might spin, bite their clothes, or shout when things feel too loud.

Therefore, when a tricky moment arises, take a moment to be a detective. Ask yourself: What is this child gaining, or what are they trying to avoid right now? This crucial step will completely change your behaviour management plan.

How to Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations for Children

Clear rules or boundaries help children feel completely safe and secure. They make the world predictable. To help rules stick, make them clear, use pictures, and show them yourself.

• Keep Rules Positive and Short: Use only a few words that tell them exactly what to do. For example, say, “Walk feet inside,” instead of, “Don’t run; you might fall down.” Use simple, directive language.
• Make Them Visual: Young children remember what they see best visually. Therefore, put a picture of “quiet voices” or “sitting on the chair” on the wall where they can easily see it. They can easily point to the picture to remind themselves. These visual cues are extremely important.
• Model It – Be the Example: You must show them exactly what you expect to see yourself. In addition, if the rule is about putting toys away gently, you must do it gently, too. Your actions are the best guide for all child behaviour courses. Be the gentle model.
• Teach When Calm: Teach new rules when everyone is happy and calm. For instance, practise sharing a toy when everyone is content, before they fight over it later. Learning does not happen when emotions are high.

Using Praise and Positive Reinforcement Effectively

Specifically, genuine praise is the magic power in your behaviour management toolkit. It tells the child, “Please do that exact thing again!” Instead of a quick, misleading “Well done,” use a spotlight to highlight the specific action:

• “You shared the blocks—great taking turns!”
• “You put your toys away—thank you for helping!”

Simple rewards or routines can help, but avoid overuse. Besides, most behaviour courses teach positive reinforcement as an important skill.

• Be Fast: Give praise the very moment you see the good behaviour happen. Remember, the connection between the action and your praise must be immediate.
• Be Clear: Name the specific thing they did well, like “You put the blocks neatly away.” Shallow praise is quickly overlooked.
• Focus on Effort: Praise them for trying hard, not just for getting it perfect. Say, “You kept trying to zip up your coat!”
• Use Simple Rewards: Small rewards, like being the door opener, are okay to use sometimes. However, the main goal is for them to feel proud of being kind. Intrinsic motivation is the best reward.

The Art of Descriptive Commenting (Non-Verbal Praise)

Sometimes, the best praise isn’t a loud word but quiet attention. This technique is often taught in challenging behaviour course models. When a child is playing nicely, just kneel down and describe what they are doing.

• “You are stacking the blue and red blocks very carefully. You found the perfect spot for that tiny car.” (No evaluation, just observation.)

This sends the message: “Your calm, focused play is worth my attention.” This is a quiet but powerful form of positive guidance.

The Power of the ‘Yes’ Environment

Always try to create an environment where you say “yes” more often than “no.” When a child asks to do something, find a way to make it possible safely. If they ask to climb on a table, you must say “no“, but you can quickly follow up with, “You need to climb! Yes! Let’s go climb on the big tyres outside instead!” As a result, this shows you understand, and you’re helping them do it in the right place. Such techniques promote deep trust and compliance.

How to Stay Calm and Consistent When Managing Behaviour

Consistency is not being mean; it means you are completely reliable and predictable. Remember that being reliable makes a child feel very safe. When you face challenging behaviour, remember to be the peaceful anchor in the storm.

1. Go Low and Slow: When a child is shouting, you must speak softly and quietly. Consequently, lower your voice and slow your words down immediately. This helps their strong emotions calm down naturally through co-regulation.
2. Use an Agreed Script: Decide on a simple script for common problems beforehand. Then, use these exact words every single time consistently. For example, if a child is throwing sand, say, “The sand stays in the tray,” every time.
3. Follow Through, Every Single Time: If you say you will move the toy, you must gently move the toy. To clarify, if you say it, you must do it exactly. This unwavering action is the most important lesson in any challenging behaviour training. Also, it teaches them that you mean what you say.

The Two-Choice Redirection Technique

When a child is doing something tricky, like throwing a puzzle piece, calmly offer two choices that guide them back to the right action.

• “Throwing is for the beanbags. Do you want to try putting the puzzle piece here, or do you want to move to the beanbag tossing game?”

This gives them an immediate way out of the current situation and a chance to make a good choice. This preserves their dignity and saves the boundary.

The Role of Routines and Structure in Early Years Behaviour

Routines act as clear roadmaps for young children’s days. They allow youth to know what is going to happen next, which drastically reduces the likelihood of a sudden breakdown or tantrum. Thus, structure removes the element of surprise.

• Visual Timetables: Use clear pictures to map out the day’s events, like snack and story time. Children can check the map themselves, reducing worry about what comes next. Visuals are calming.
• Smooth Transitions: Changes are very hard for little ones, so give a clear warning before packing up the toys. You should use a timer or a special song to signal the change coming soon. This prevents the shock of a sudden change.
• Offer Choice Boards: Give children simple, acceptable choices to feel some control. For instance, say, “Do you want your red cup or the blue cup today?” They still drink, but they feel empowered and respected.

The Power of Predictable Endings (First/Then)

Use “first/then” language to help children see that an unfavoured activity has a clear, fun ending.

• “First, we tidy up the paint, then we can read the dinosaur book.”
• “First, you put on your shoes, then we can go outside to play.”

This easy method, taught in behaviour courses, turns a hard moment into a simple way for the child to earn something good.

Supporting Children with Additional Needs or SEN

Every child is unique, and some need extra understanding and care. If you work with a child with Special Educational Needs (SEN), please seek expert help right away. Their behaviour may be communicating very different needs to you.

• Change the Environment: Is the room too noisy, too bright, or too crowded for this child? Consider creating a quiet ‘calm down’ corner with some sensory tools inside for them.
• Use More Visuals: For children with communication problems, ‘now and next’ boards and social stories are very helpful. This is because they provide clear, concrete information quickly and simply.
• Incorporate Sensory Breaks: Some children need a deep pressure hug or time on a swing to calm their minds. Therefore, understand their specific sensory profile well.
• Follow Their Plan: If the child has a support plan (e.g., an IEP or EHCP), you must follow it carefully and exactly. This plan contains their specific needs.
• Seek Specialist Training: Ask for specific challenging behaviour training focused on their needs, like autism or ADHD. You should always consult with your setting’s SENCO.

9 Strategies for Success (Your Quick-Reference Toolkit)

Here is a quick summary of the best strategies to successfully guide children’s behaviour. Essentially, these are the powerful tools taught in every great child behaviour course:

1. Be a Feelings Coach: Help children name their emotions (e.g., “You look frustrated!”) and teach a good way to cope.

2. Stay Low and Calm: When guiding behaviour, keep your voice quiet and your body language relaxed.

3. Use Positive Language: Always tell the child what to do instead of what not to do.

4. Praise Effort and Specific Actions: Give immediate, clear praise for the behaviour you truly want to see.

5. Be Absolutely Consistent: Ensure every adult follows the exact same rules and steps every time.

6. Check the Environment: Look for simple triggers like noise, hunger, or not enough space.

7. Use Visuals for Everything: Visual timetables and rule charts are key for their understanding.

8. Offer Two Acceptable Choices: Give children a small choice to reduce arguments and power struggles.

9. Build Warm Relationships: Spend time connecting with children when they are calm and happy.

How Communication Helps Prevent Behaviour Issues

Good communication is your strongest tool to stop challenging behaviour before it starts. That means being a calm “feelings coach” and speaking clearly so children know what to do.

• Get Down Low: Kneel or sit so you are at the child’s eye level. By doing this, you show respect and help them focus only on you.
• Use Simple Language: Use short, clear sentences. Above all, avoid long, complicated explanations that they cannot process well. Keep your message to 9-15 words.
• Coach the Feeling: Help them name what they are feeling strongly. “You are feeling angry that the tower fell down.” This builds their vital emotional intelligence.
• Listen Actively: Show them you are listening with your body language and simple words like, “I hear you,” or, “That sounds difficult.” Furthermore, repeat back what you heard to show you understood.

Advanced Positive Guidance Techniques for Common Challenges

Dealing with Biting and Hitting (Instant Response)

The immediate response must be quick, calm, and focused on the victim first.

1. Stop the Action: Quickly, but calmly, stop the behaviour using a firm, non-shaming voice. Say: “Stop. I can’t let you hurt a friend. Hands are for helping.”
2. Attend to the Victim: Give all your attention to the child who was hurt. This removes the attention-seeking reward from the child who bit.
3. Use a Simple Script: When the environment is calm, go back to the child who bit. Say: “I saw you were angry. You need to use your words, or ask for a cushion to squeeze instead.”

Never shame or demand an insincere apology. Because your focus is on teaching the replacement skill.

The Problem of Snatching/Grabbing

Snatching is often a breakdown of impulse control. Teach the replacement skill:

1. Acknowledge the Desire: Say: “You really want that toy! It’s so hard to wait.” This validates their feeling.
2. Teach Waiting: Use a timer or a simple visual like a sand-timer. Say: “First, it is Tom’s turn until the sand runs out. Then, it will be your turn to play with it.”
3. Reinforce Patience: If they wait, use intense, specific praise: “Wow! You waited the whole time! That was amazing waiting and sharing!” This is crucial positive guidance.

Managing Transitions (Avoiding Meltdowns)

Moving from one task to the next is the most frequent reason for behavioural issues. So, use the following steps:

1. Give Clear Warnings: Say, “Five more minutes until it’s time to tidy up the playdough.” Say it again 2 minutes later.
2. Involve Them in the Change: Don’t just demand action. Say: “Let’s see if we can tidy up all the red toys first! Can you find them all?”
3. Sing or Use a Ritual: A simple, specific song or chant signals the change, making it fun and predictable for everyone.

Working with Parents and Carers on Behaviour Strategies

Parents and carers are your most valuable partners in this journey. Working together is the key to effective behaviour management everywhere. Consistency between your setting and home helps the child learn faster.

• Share Positive News First: Always start your conversations by celebrating something amazing the child did that day. This builds a positive foundation for hard discussions.
• Agree on Key Strategies: Pick one or two strategies that you can both use consistently at home and in your setting. For example, agreeing to use “First/Then” language.
• Listen to Families: Parents are the experts on their own child. Hence, listen to what works well for them at home and what the child’s home life is like.
• Review Together: Set a time to check in and see if the agreed strategy is actually helping.

Final Thoughts: Building a Calm and Supportive Early Years Environment

Indeed, managing behaviour in early years is a lengthy process, not a race. Using clear pictures, kind interactions, and steady routines helps children feel safe and confident. With the right training, like behaviour courses, educators can face tricky behaviour with confidence.Don’t wait for chaos — prevent it! Train in the Level 2 Behaviour Management course today and guide with confidence.

FAQs: Behaviour Management in Early Years

1. What are the 5 R’s of behaviour management?
Respect, Relationships, Routines, Rules, and Reinforcement.

2. What are the five principles of behaviour management?
Consistency, Fairness, Clarity, Positive Reinforcement, and Support.

3. What does Ofsted say about behaviour management?
Ofsted expects schools to promote good behaviour, prevent bullying, and create a safe, positive learning environment.

4. What does the EYFS say about behaviour?
EYFS emphasises positive relationships, clear boundaries, and supporting children to manage feelings and behaviour.

5. How to handle disruptive behaviour in the classroom?
Stay calm, address the behaviour quickly, set clear expectations, and use consistent consequences.

6. What are the 4 principles of behaviour?
Consistency, Fairness, Clarity, and Positive Reinforcement.

7. What are the four types of behaviour management?
Preventive, Supportive, Corrective, and Punitive strategies.

8. What are 5 challenging behaviours in the classroom?
Disruption, Defiance, Aggression, Withdrawal, and Non-compliance.